Mr. Wendell would be so disappointed

So last night I was having dinner with some friends, and afterwards, one of them had to "relieve" herself very badly. Why she didn't go in the nice restaurant where we were eating is beyond me, but she couldn't hold it and actually succumbed to going in a McDonald's in Union Square. Fine. So they're in the bathroom and I'm parked at a table by the door, checking my messages, as we all do to keep us looking somewhat occupied and semi-important. This guy comes up and asks me if I have a quarter. I tell him no, I don't (I truly don't, by the way. Quarters are a hot commodity in the world of token-operated laundry machines) but probably have 25 cents if that's what he's looking for. (Note: even to a man begging for money, I somehow have to correct his diction. Oh, so typical.) So while I'm digging for the change, he says, "Give me two." WHAT? Beggars can't be choosers, buddy. I tell him no, but he can have 30 cents (since I'm feeling particularly generous, and I use generous synonymously with increasingly frightened). Know what? Not even a thank you.

Out come my friends. He stops them and asks them for a quarter. For some odd reason, I feel possessed to yell across the restaurant, "But I just gave you some money." Still, my friends dig deep in their hearts and in their little change purses, too, and fish out a small donation. As we leave McD's, there's another man at the door bouncing his paper cup full of change begging for money and I said to him, "Ask that guy (gesturing to the man to whom we had ALL given money who was following us out of the restaurant). We just gave him all our money."

This story is anti-climactic. No, we didn't get yelled at by either beggar, didn't get followed or robbed. But it makes me really think about what sort of person this city is turning me into. $2 just means a snack to me, and this was only an eighth of that, but I couldn’t bring myself to part with money purely out of principle. How do I know when I’m being charitable and when I’m just being scammed? I hate being skeptical. It makes me feel stingy and it makes me feel small. I consider myself a sympathetic and charitable person. I’m all for helping out your fellow (wo)man when they need it (Kristin, enter ATLAS SHRUGGED rebuttal here) but I can’t for some reason do it when I think I’m enabling people to continue to live their lives from quarter to quarter without sincerely needing it. So some people are getting money for nothing, some are still suffering, and I’m still scratching my head to figure out who is who. Anyone want to offer his/her two cents? (I’m sorry, don’t feel obligated. I just couldn’t resist one more financially-driven cliché.)